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The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond | 
 enlarge | Author: Patricia Evans
Publisher: Adams Media
Category: Book
List Price: $15.95
Buy Used: $1.70
You Save: $14.25 (89%)
New (76) Used (116) Collectible (2) from $1.70
Rating:  232 reviews
Sales Rank: 3302
Media: Paperback
Edition: 2nd
Pages: 222
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.3
Dimensions (in): 8.3 x 5.4 x 0.3
ISBN: 1558505822
Dewey Decimal Number: 153.6
UPC: 045079005822
EAN: 9781558505827
ASIN: 1558505822
Publication Date: February 1, 2003
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Amazon.com Review
Are you now, or have you ever been, in relationships with family, friends, or mates who have been verbally abusive? Is your happiness with someone you love continually threatened by interactions that continually undermine your self-esteem? Do you feel trapped in a relationship that keeps decaying in a downward spiral of overt or passive-aggressive abuse? If so, this book could be your life raft, either carrying you toward repair of the existing relationship or the effects of past relationships or offering liberation from your current confusion. Its practical approach can help clear your head and possibly change your life. The only criticism that I and other readers have is that the author assumes verbal abuse is almost always directed by males toward females, which, in my experience and that of others I know, is not necessarily the case. Highly Recommended.
Product Description
If you or someone you know answers "yes" to one or more of the following questions, this book is required reading: Does your partner seem irritated or angry at you several times a week?
Does he deny being angry when he clearly is?
Do your attempts to discuss feelings of pain or emotional distress leave you with the feeling that the issue has not been resolved?
Do you frequently feel perplexed and frustrated by his responses, as though you were each speaking a different language? Almost everyone has heard of or knows someone who is part of a verbally abusive relationship-if they're not involved in one themselves. In The Verbally Abusive Relationship, you'll find validation and understanding-it's "not all in your head"-and encouragement for your efforts to change the situation. In this expanded second edition, author Patricia Evans explores the damaging effects of verbal abuse on children and the family, and offers valuable insight and recommendations to therapists, as well as those who seek therapeutic support.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 227 more reviews...
 I was abused just by viewing the contents of this book December 30, 2008
Robo (Texas United States)
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
This is a very bad book to be on the selves. This is probably the most noneducational book on abuse there is. I'd suggest going to a local abuse shelter if you actually want to learn something about abuse. That would probably be much more educational than buying something cheap on amazon from someone who's obviously uneducated on this issue.
If you view the contents of the book and look at pg.24, then you can read for yourself how it implicitly assumes women are always right no matter what. On one hand, the man is wrong because he doesn't understand what the woman is talking about ("He has no idea what you're talking about when you try to discuss the issue with him".), and on the other, the man is wrong because she doesn't know what he is talking about("He is angry with you... you are surprised each time.")
Furthermore, what the author is mostly talking about is stonewalling. Stonewalling is not verbal abuse: stonewalling is one form of emotional abuse but its not verbal. Also note that wanting to invade another person's privacy (physical, emotional or mental) can also qualify as abuse.
The list on the page potential buyers are allowed access to is highly vague and abstract. In fact, its actually sown out of the same tactics used by verbal abusers themselves.
For example, as you read the list you start saying to yourself, "does my life really have to revolve around this person? I'd like to please them, but their personal demands are very extreme."
Finally, the simple fact about abuse is that most abusers make excessive demands on their significant other. Think about that while reading this book.
 This so hits the nail on the head! December 14, 2008
Patricia Figueroa (Redlands, Ca.)
When I first read this book there were bells going off everywhere for me! I saw myself and recognized so many things that just made things click into place for me. I totally related to the people in the stories to the extent that, word for word, I realized that I had made the same excuses to others but worst of all to myself! This is one powerful book. It takes you there but then gives you the tools to find your way out.
This is the fourth time I've bought this book. I keep giving it to people who I feel could benefit from it and my copy is so dogeared and filled with highlighter that it's distracting (for anyone but me anyway).
This book has saved my soul... seriously. December 13, 2008
Rachel Williams (Upper Marlboro, MD)
Before I read this book, I didn't know there was a name for what I was going through. Once I started reading I was in shock. I was reading about myself. It was unreal. I was ready to go before this book but this book enlighetened me to a point that I finally understood what was happening in my life and I then felt a little more empowered and educated. I now no longer question the decisions that I have to make because I understand why I am making them and why things are the way they are. I've never written a review before but I felt compelled to do so after reading this. Thanks to all who have reviewed before me, its because of you that I bought this book and I hope all others who read it get as much out of it as I did. I can't wait to live again without doubting what I was going through.
helps clear the fuzziness in your head about your relationship December 11, 2008
Kate (West Jeff, OH)
The definitions of the different realities (rational vs. irrational) are very helpful in trying to comprehend why conversations end up so confusing, or your mind starts to feel cloudy. If your partner has ever made you feel a little fuzzy in the head, confused, or downright said something mean or something that embarrasses you............ read this book!
It is one of my "anchor" books that I flip to my highlighted sections when I start to fill with self-doubt and uncertainty.
Finally...I Understood What was Happening to Me and I got Out! November 13, 2008
Nancy Marlowe
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
I didn't know what was wrong with my marriage, but I knew I was unhappy. At least once a week I found myself telling my husband, "Don't talk to me like that. It makes me feel bad." But he didn't stop. It just got worse.
These kind of relationships are poison because you are being emotionally abused.
Day by day you grow more and more less confident and uneasy...but you can't understand why.
Please, if you think you are being mistreated...you probably are.
Read this book so that you have a better understanding of what is going on in your relationship. Seek professional help, go to the nearest women's shelter if you need help or affordable counseling.
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